Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
