Tell her she can't have a vagina
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
