Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
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Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
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I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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