The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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