i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
