i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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