I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
