We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
