I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
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