Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
