He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
