Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
