I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just puked most of my soul out..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
