im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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