People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
