i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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