Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
