i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
