I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
