Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
