dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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