Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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