it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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