you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize