Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
