I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
