why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
