just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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