so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
