You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
