..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
well I can't set my house on fire every night
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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