Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
