Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
