stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
