I just saw a hot homeless man
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
