Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
