he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
