people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
