did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
