I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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