my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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