when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
