He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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