I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
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Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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