their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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