You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
