a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
