I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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