I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
