3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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