Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
