I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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