dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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