i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
