you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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