These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
