At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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