my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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