your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
