idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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