it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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