Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
