he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
