I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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