16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
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