Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
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I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize