I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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