can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
