I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
