Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I AM VODKA MAN
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize