I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So vagazzling was a success
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize