I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
