So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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