i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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