She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
