Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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