im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
nutella sex= disaster
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
